She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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