What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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