My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
