Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
