I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
