Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
