Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
