I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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