I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize