You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
