We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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