I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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