Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
