last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
