I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
