I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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