I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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