I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
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YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
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Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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