Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
