There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
