ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
