I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
