I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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