I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
