doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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