haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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