these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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