someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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