Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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