I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
