If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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