Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
