I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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