well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
