Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
