I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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