What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
