Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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