Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize