how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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