true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
