Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
