I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
