shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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