They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
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