Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
