Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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