yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
