Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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