I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
