I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
