did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
