Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
