I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
