You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
