i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
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Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.