Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.