Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.