I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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