Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.