i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
