thanks...oh and i got my period
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?