NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick