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• (727): View more from Florida

  He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  wtf you measured my hair?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (805): View more from California

  Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.

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• (805): View more from California

  No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear

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• (917): View more from New York City

  What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans

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• (212): View more from New York

  Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.

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