It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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