I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
