Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
